Here are the Blogs in the relationships category.
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Counseling without a Ph.D.
 A member of our congregation revealed to my husband that she had been sexually abused as a child. He didn’t feel comfortable counseling women about sexual abuse, and encouraged me to talk with her. I complained about my lack of training. He insisted my past experience qualified me to counsel her, since I had found healing in the Scriptures.
My first counseling session involved simply listening to her, sharing my experience, crying, hugging, and sharing some Scriptures. I prayed and encouraged her to find her own “medicine” from the Bible. Soon there followed other women who revealed similar past hurts. Some hadn’t told a soul in thirty or more years! It was soon clear that this one “session” was not enough.
Statistics say that 1 in 4 women have been sexually abused in their lifetime {http://www.prevent_abuse_now.com/stats.htm#Allegations}. There is a great need for prepared counselors. Yes, this often falls to the preacher’s wife, but others can do it. Any faithful Christian in the congregation can fill this void. Galatians tells us to fulfill the law of Christ by bearing each other’s burdens (6:2).
I began to study the Scriptures to find more that would help these women in need. Here is what I discovered.
1. Anyone can be qualified to counsel.
2 Peter 1:3 says we have been given “...all things which pertain to life and godliness.” Do we believe that? If we do, the answers to life’s problems are in there. We must search the Scriptures for the answers. We can be God’s workmen, “thoroughly furnished unto every good work” (2 Timothy 2:15; 3:17). Life is not without troubles and strife for any of us. God is the Creator and He knows the trials we go through. Help can be found within His life manual.
2. She needs to know she is not alone.
There are women included in the Scripture who were abused. They are likely mentioned with a purpose to teach of the evil in this world. Two are Dinah in Genesis 34 and Tamar in 2 Samuel 13.
3. She needs to know she is guiltless in this matter.
Often an abused woman feels guilty as if she committed sin herself. Sometimes her abuser even tells her so. God was very clear in the Law of Moses about this: “But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her, then the man only that lay with her shall die; But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing, there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death...” (Deuteronomy 22:25-27, KJV). We are no longer under the Old Law, but this plainly shows God’s thoughts on the matter.
4. She needs a Savior’s love.
It is difficult for an abused woman to feel worthy of love, especially the love of God. Remembering daily that Christ died for her helps her to feel special, but it may take some time for the words to sink in. Hold her hand and pray with her, asking God to help her see Christ’s love.
5. She needs a Father’s love.
There is a story of a little girl who had cut herself. For whatever reason, the doctors could not administer anesthesia. The girl looked at her father and said, “Will you hold my hand? I think I’ll be okay, if you just hold my hand.” In my own trials, I would pray and picture myself curled up into my Father’s lap with His arms around me. It is a wonderful feeling to feel protection as a child of God.
6. When her abuser asks forgiveness, she needs to forgive and let go of anger.
Forgiveness is a serious matter. Jesus included it in His model prayer and told a parable about the punishment of an unforgiving servant, finishing with: “So likewise shall My heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses” (Matthew 18:35, KJV). It is important to forgive others. It is a choice that often takes time. As we go through life, we may think we have finally forgiven that person, but then a situation arises and anger will reappear. We must choose again to forgive and pray for strength. It is significant that Jesus says, “Until seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22).
7. She needs to know the power of prayer.
A friend counseled me by quoting Jesus‘ words, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). He challenged me to pray for my abuser. At first it was difficult to even mention his name in my prayers, but it wasn’t long before my anger was replaced with genuine concern over his welfare. I wanted him to become a Christian and know God’s forgiveness. Prayer changes things (James 1:6).
8. She needs to help others.
The New Testament has many Scriptures that tell us that we should “bear one another’s burdens” or “admonish one another.” Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan that reminds us to help our neighbor in need. For the woman with the wounded heart this is especially necessary. It is easy to keep the focus on herself and “wallow” in self-pity (or a gallon of ice cream). At some point she must come to a place where she’s firmly planted on God’s solid rock and can reach down to pull someone else up from the depths of despair.
This article is just a bit of all that God has to say to hurting women. I pray that this is a beginning to help you be prepared to help those around you.
Posted on 05/27/2010 2:54 PM by Dawn Pasley
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
A One Man Woman for a One Woman Man
Since the very dawn of history itself, Jehovah has intended that one husband be married exclusively to one wife “till death do us part…”
God told Adam, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Jesus later repeated those words and then added, “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Let those last words sauté slowly in the juices of your mind for just a moment—“let not man separate.”
Man throughout the centuries has endeavored to just that—to separate. He has sought fragmentation and division between man and woman (Matthew 19:8), while God, by contrast, has mandated union and oneness. Note again the statement in Eden—“be joined” (NKJV). The King James translates this as “cleave”; the term means “to cling, glue, or bond.” It is employed in the Old Testament of flesh that adheres to the bone (Job 19:20), leprosy that is fused to the flesh (2 Kings 5:27), and metal that is welded together (Isaiah 41:7). In a personal way, “cleave” describes the passionate commitment of one person to another (Ruth 1:14; Genesis 34:3; Deuteronomy 30:20;). You see, from Heaven’s perspective, marriage is to be a permanent, life-lasting, never-to-be- severed, “Super Glue” attachment.
Cynics today inform us this is simply not possible—that the institution of marriage, at least as the Bible portrays it (Eph. 5), is little more than an ancient relic of an outmoded era. “It doesn’t work and simply cannot be found in the 21st century,” they allege.
At first blush, this notion sounds correct. Experience and observation tell us that even the best marriages can be difficult at times—yes, even among children of God. And who among us hasn’t watched a friend, loved one, or co-worker struggle through a heart-breaking divorce? If we are not very careful, we too can buy into the humanistic idea that the Father’s plan is impractical and ineffective, and therefore some other “option” ought to supersede His divine arrangement.
And what option should we pursue, you may ask? The world says “many.” Think Hugh Heffner. Think Hollywood. Think a plurality of relationships over the course of one’s life. You see, the world says that the most pragmatic and satisfying approach to marriage in our modern society is through a multiplicity of intimate associations. Why endure one monogamous relationship for decades when you can simply “trade in” a person like you might secure a new car? When you get through the honeymoon (John 6:15; Genesis 29:9-20) and reach disappointment (John 6:41, 60; Genesis 29:21-25), just sever the temporary attachment (John 6:66) and look for another person to fulfill your needs and desires. Don’t think one, think many.
Scripture tells us that there is a far better way. It teaches that the true path to marital harmony and longevity is built uniquely upon the essential truths of God’s Word. And thus a man who wishes to honor the Father and really desires to be blessed (John 10:10) both now as well as in eternity will want to have, and love, only one wife. He will be a one woman man married to a one man woman (Romans 7:2). “Why?” you may inquire. Consider but a few reasons:
1. In order that he might STUDY her. “Husbands, likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Watch the phrase, “dwell with them with understanding.” Can a man who goes through multiple female partners honestly say that he genuinely and fully understands any of them? Of course not. Yes, he may have some limited insight to certain elements of their behavior, but he cannot in totality say that he has a heart, soul, and mind knowledge of any single woman. By contrast, a Christian husband who is dedicated to his one wife has the pleasure and privilege of learning his wife’s moods, feelings, needs, fears, hopes, and dreams over a lifetime! He can study her and find real joy in perpetual discovery.
2. In order that he might SHARE with her. The man who has many women tends to view sex as a mere physical act. He totally eliminates the depth of human relationship and restrains sexuality to the narrow confines of momentary passion and pleasure. But the man who is completely devoted to his one wife and follows God’s original blueprint experiences oneness on a much deeper level of intimacy and closeness.
I read recently where the University of Northern Iowa offered a general art course that included an unusual exercise. The instructor brought a shopping bag to class filled with lemons and then gave one piece of fruit to each class member. The assignment was for the student to keep his lemon with him day and night—smelling it, handling it, examining it for 48 hours. At the next class, the students were asked to put their lemons back into the bag. Then they were told to find their particular lemon. To their astonishment, most students did so without difficulty! The point is, in God’s beautiful design, sex not only includes seeing and caressing your mate’s body (Song of Solomon 4:1-15; 1 Corinthians 7:1ff); it involves knowing and sharing your own naked heart with your life-long partner in a way that no one else could ever experience.
3. In order that he might SANCTIFY her. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church” (Ephesians 5:25-29). The word “sanctify” comes from the same Greek root word as saint, which means “to make holy, to set apart.” Just as Christ loved His bride, the church, and gave Himself up in order to make her holy, a loving husband will want to sacrifice his own likes, desires, and preferences in order that he might purify his wife’s inner character and assist in the maturation of her faith. He is willing to die to self, because that is what true love requires.
The world says “many”; the Lord says “one.” The world’s “option” to Biblical marriage offers a) shallow attachments, b) unfulfilling and empty relations, and c) no opportunities for spiritual growth or Heaven as its goal. Thanks Hugh and Hollywood, but I think I will stay right where I am. Posted on 05/26/2010 12:47 PM by Mike Benson
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Six Gifts with Perks
Have you redeemed all those holiday gift cards yet? If not, you’d better find them, check the expiration dates and get to the store, restaurant, or coffee shop and have a little fun. Statistics tell us that retailers love to sell gift cards because the average person paying with a gift card ends up spending thirty percent more than the card’s value, and often these customers are spending money in a store in which they otherwise would not have shopped.
There have been times, I admit, when I have given my husband a gift card to a coffee shop or restaurant, secretly hoping he would share the experience with me. Sometimes that means he has to spend a little more than the face value of the gift card, but still, it’s a whole lot more fun to share the gift—even from his point of view.
There are other more enduring gifts we can give our husbands that have joint redemptive dividends. I wish I’d been more aware of this principle of investing in my husband’s happiness when I first became a bride. If you are a new bride or planning a spring wedding, may I suggest to you some “gift certificates” your husband will love? These ideas are timeless, they are non-transferable, they cannot be stolen, and they never expire. That’s right. The rewards are eternal. Best of all, the giver is entitled to reciprocal rewards. So go ahead and treat your husband to some gifts that give back. These gifts may not be everything your groom needs to be the husband of your dreams, but they are certainly on God’s list of the most useful wedding gifts.
1. Give him the gift of respect. Your husband will like the card that says, “I love you.” But if you really want to “wow” the man you’ve married, send him a card that lists the things you respect most about him. This is the card he will keep in his desk drawer forever. Use respectful terms when speaking to or about him like Sarah did to and about Abraham in 1 Peter 3:6. Reciprocal reward: He learns to communicate with you without fear of embarrassment or being belittled.
2. Give him the gift of submission (1 Peter 3:5, Ephesians 5:22). In the wording of the Scriptures, be subject to him. Obey him. If you do these things because you trust the Lord’s plan for your marriage rather than the standards of the culture around you, he will view this gift as extremely valuable. Reciprocal reward: He grows in appreciation for you.
3. Give him the gift of loyalty. Keep your commitments to him—both large vows, like you made at the altar, and small ones, like your lunch appointment. Make him know that you are a woman of your word. Reciprocal reward: He grows to trust you more (Proverbs 31:11, 12).
4. Give him the gift of intimacy. This gift is expensive for women because we can’t always understand the very real and physical need our men have for frequent sex. Ours is not to understand but to heed the words of 1 Corinthians 7:3, 4. This gift is uniquely his and is unavailable to any other. Guard this “certificate” with your utmost discretion and common sense. Never get anywhere near risking the loss of this gift. Reciprocal reward: He does handstands to take care of your needs and please you.
5. Give him the gift of friendship. The word love in Titus 2:4, in which young women are taught to love their husbands, is phileo—friendship love. Find common hobbies and make a real effort to enjoy what he enjoys. Ask questions he loves to answer and buy him little gifts that show that you love what he loves. Be willing to sacrifice time in this friendship quest. Reciprocal reward: You always have a best friend.
6. Give him the gift of agape love. Agape is loving people, not for what we can get out of it, but because we truly want what is best for them. Though each gift comes with rewards, self-gratification cannot be the reason I give them. Ironically enough, if I attempt to redeem these “certificates” for myself, both my husband and I become ineligible for any of the goods and services represented. I must be all about enriching my husband’s days in this world, and, in the process, I will be all the richer myself. My rewards are the surprise ending to my love story, not the preface. Without agape, there is no substance (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). All that’s left of the gift certificate without unconditional love is “face value.” And we all know that gift certificates at “face value only” are worth practically nothing.
There’s a line from a famous Jimmy Stewart movie that says, “Youth is wasted on the wrong people.” Sometimes it’s true. The years of marriage in which we are healthiest, most attractive, and most able to enjoy activities together have rushed by us because we’ve become too busy with making a living to really live. We failed to get the most, during those years, from our marriages because we hadn’t yet learned the biggest secret of marital happiness: Give it till you get it.
Finally, the disclaimer. There are some men who have been so unaffected by our God and His Will that they will never redeem the gift certificates. Their wives continue to offer respect, love, and submission just because God has commanded it. They experience daily disappointment, because, no matter how they may try, their husbands’ hearts are hard and their marriages will never be truly happy. I grieve at this almost unbearable situation in which some of my dear friends find themselves. But just because a husband fails to redeem the gift does not mean the giver loses all benefits. As a matter of fact, the greatest rewards of faithfulness in marriage are not even experienced in this lifetime. The Good Book says that our afflictions last but just a moment in the eternal scheme of things. It adds that they result in an exceeding and eternal weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17). Faithful wife, when you look back on your marriage in a thousand years, your wedded bliss will seem as the brightest sparkle in a life that lasted but a moment. Conversely, any flash of memory that you might have of an unhappy marriage will have no power to rob you of one iota of the bliss of Heaven. The gifts that you have given in marriage will be yielding rewards long after you’ve moved to a place where there is no marrying nor giving in marriage (Matthew 22:30). Everybody will be completely fulfilled and extremely happy…every single soul. Posted on 05/26/2010 12:56 PM by Cindy Colley
Thursday, 18 February 2010
Around The Family Table
“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table.” – Psalm 128:3
I am excited to begin a new department for Think magazine! I am going to be writing about “A Little R & R” for the family. That is, the responsibilities and roles of fathers, mothers, and children.
I interact with several people daily from all different backgrounds and see a common thread of individuals not having a standard on how to determine their roles and responsibilities. People in our American culture tend to base what they do on the actions of others. Their family roles and responsibilities are relative to whatever and whomever they compare themselves. Without a standard, families are not going to grow closer together or to God.
So how are we to decide what the role of each person is in the family? The oldest standard on family roles, values, and morals is the Bible. By using God’s Word we can better see how to live out godly roles in our families. God created the heavens, the earth, and the family within six days. The husband-wife relationship, parent-child relationship, and sibling relationship are as old as the earth. When we want to learn what doctrine and teachings to believe and follow, we go the Bible first, so why not go to it for the doctrine and teachings on the family?
The pattern of how a family is to interact with each other should be based on how Christ relates to the church, how God relates to His people, and on principles we can learn from both godly and ungodly people in the Bible. These human relationships are mostly seen in the Old Testament, but the principles often apply to those of us who live under the New Testament Church.
Our culture has determined what the roles of father/husband, mother/wife, and brother/sister should be. Unfortunately, many of the roles society has promoted for the family are based on psychology, and many of the roles that do claim a Biblical basis are based on a false interpretation and application of Scripture.
I fully understand that there are many family tables scattered throughout America that do not have a Biblically-based family pattern with both a father and mother. But at the same time, I hope we agree that a fatherless or motherless home was not God’s plan at creation. I want to express what I believe the Bible teaches on how each family member is to interact with others in his family, and the relationship he is to have with the New Testament Church, and society. I will show that the father’s leadership is key.
What the Bible teaches may be difficult for some because our society is “[at a] time when [we] will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths” (2 Timothy 4:3-4, NASB). I believe that many Christian families are living as they desire without really delving into what the Bible teaches about families. New Testament Christian families are to look to God and the Bible for the road to travel in every aspect of their lives and to follow its teachings, patterns, and precepts regardless of how tough or hard it may be.
So do I believe that a family without the Bible as its basis for understanding will suffer? Yes. Any family that does not have God’s word to lead them through life will suffer not only in this life, but also in the afterlife. The Bible teaches how a Christian is to live in order to be called a child of God. Family life is intertwined with this in every respect.
I hope to challenge those who read this to take another look at their family roles, relationships, and goals in order to determine if their families are examples of the Christ/Church and God/Son relationships. I hope and pray that a rethinking, reevaluation, and change in families take place if needed.
Let us keep in mind a few points as we begin. Men must turn their hearts to their wives and children. Then those wives and children will turn their hearts back to the fathers (Malachi 4:5-6). They will have a fear and respect for the Lord (Psalm 128:4). Those of us who are parents (fathers especially) are going to have to take action if we want a better future for our children and grandchildren. Fathers are going to have to become men of action as in Nehemiah 4:14, where the men are told by Nehemiah the prophet, “Don’t be afraid…fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” Our families should be home-centered with an emphasis on the family as a unit, instead of the family made up of disconnected individuals. We must emphasize Christ-centered households where the entire family is obedient to God’s Word and holds it as the standard by which each person decides what is true and right.
Posted on 02/18/2010 3:17 PM by David Longley
Thursday, 2 July 2009
THE NEXT GENERATION: KEY TO THE FUTURE
No generation touches the next without leaving—to some degree—a few spiritual thumbprints of its own. If no man is an island to himself, than certainly no generation is an island to itself either. The spiritual impact that one generation can have on another is enormous. This principle is set forth in the Bible both positively and negatively.
Negative Impact of a Generation
The first human couple had no previous generation to blame for their sinful conduct. In fact, Paul made it clear where the blame resided and what the negative impact would be on subsequent generations. He wrote, “Therefore, just as through one man [generation one] sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men [subsequent generations], because all sinned” (Romans 5:12). The weeping prophet Jeremiah described the suffering nation of Judah in these poignant words, “Our fathers [generation one] have sinned, and are no more [with us]. But we [generation two] bear their iniquities” (Lamentations 5:7). Upon describing Jerusalem’s spiritual adultery, the prophet Ezekiel reminded the nation that “Indeed, everyone who quotes proverbs will use this proverb against you, saying, ‘As is the mother [generation one], so is her daughter [generation two]’” (Ezekiel 16:44). After the previous generation of God’s people died in the wilderness, Moses set before the new generation two choices. He stated, “I call heaven and earth as witness today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you [generation one] and your descendants [generation two] may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19). The nation’s decision was a life or death proposition; their ultimate survival as a people hinged upon their response (Deuteronomy 6:24; 30:11-20).
No generation is unaffected by the actions of its predecessor. It is also of significance to note that a new generation can willfully rebel against their Creator even after its previous generation walked with God (See Judges 2:10-13). This proves that every generation is responsible for their own actions, regardless of how wicked or righteous the previous generation behaved (cf. Ezekiel 18:20).
Positive Impact of a Generation
The New Testament presents several instances where one generation is depicted as favorably complimenting the next. Paul wrote to the young evangelist Timothy, challenging him with these words, “And the things that you have heard from me [generation one] among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men [generation two], who will be able to teach others [generation three] also” (2 Timothy 2:2). Earlier, Paul reminded Timothy of where his present faith originated. He wrote, “When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois [generation one], and your mother Eunice [generation two], and I am persuaded is in you [generation three] also” (2 Timothy 1:5). Indeed, God is very much concerned with the positive impact one generation makes upon the next.
What about the Next Generation?
I am an optimist at heart. I believe in the future of the next generation in spite of the dark, nebulous clouds of evil that many in this present generation are stretching across the horizon of our nation. If anyone desires to know what the present spiritual status of many in this generation is, he needs to look no further than the ancient words of Solomon:
There is a generation that curses its father, And does not bless its mother. There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, Yet is not washed from its filthiness. There is a generation—Oh how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation whose teeth are as swords, and whose fangs are like knives, To devour the poor from off the earth, And the needy from among men [Proverbs 30:11-14].
No generation can survive without God, though many have tried. That being true, the next generation must turn its attention heavenward. The Bible holds the key for the future survival of our children and their children. Any departure from its sacred precepts is sure to invite a self-inflicted wound upon the soul of our beloved nation—a wound that neither the strongest military nor the greatest economy could even begin to bandage. The truth is, the present generation of parents hold within their hands what is necessary for the survival of the next generation. It is to those parents that we now turn our attention.
Timely Principles from Deuteronomy 6
The book of Deuteronomy comprises a final chapter in the journey of Moses. The curtain of his illustrious life was slowly drawing to a close. At the age of one hundred twenty, he had successfully led the Israelites out of Egyptian bondage and nurtured them during the forty-year wandering in the desert, yet “his eyes were not dim, nor his natural vigor diminished” (Deuteronomy 34:7). As one writer observed, “The venerable old man was still strong, still able to meet the challenges of life, but his journey had come to an end.”1 Knowing this, the aged servant delivered his final series of messages to the Hebrew nation in which he restated the Lord’s commands.
At this point, the nation stood on the threshold of the Promised Land for a second time. The first generation failed to enter the land forty years earlier because of their unbelief (Hebrews. 4:6, 11). This new generation would occupy the land only if they did not imitate the example of their predecessors. One writer observed: “The last words of Moses sound like a speech a father might give a son or daughter getting ready to leave for college. His favorite word throughout the book of Deuteronomy is “remember,” as if to say, ‘Now don’t forget. . .Keep this in mind. . .’”2
The sixth and thirtieth chapters record what are perhaps Moses’ most significant messages. The Hebrew people considered the sixth chapter “their confession of faith.”3 They called it the Shema, a name derived from the Hebrew term forming the opening command, “Hear!” or “Listen!” Hence, Moses begins by saying, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one” (Deuteronomy 6:4). As Charles Swindoll noted:
The people of the one true God would enter a land of many false gods. They would inhabit cities they didn’t establish, live in homes they didn’t build, drink from wells they didn’t dig, and eat from groves and vineyards they didn’t plant. All this unexpected and instant affluence would present a new kind of danger.4
Moses knew how strong the family would need to be in order to survive “this unexpected and instant affluence” the nation would soon experience. The sixth chapter contains some timely principles that would assist the nation in this survival effort.
Principle #1 ~ Parents Cannot Pass along to their Children what They Themselves Do Not Possess.
Moses continues, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all thy soul, and with all your strength. And these words, which I command you this day, shall be in your heart” (Deuteronomy 6:4-6, emp. added).
The key word in these verses is the word “all.” It appears three times. There is simply no way for children to grow up in a home, loving God with all of their hearts, if God is not reigning supremely upon the throne in their parents’ hearts. Half-hearted devotion is obvious. And our children can detect—with relative ease—when we are just “going through the motions.” One writer astutely observed:
Kids are ruthlessly insightful and painfully honest. They want to know what works. They don’t want to waste their time believing in something that doesn’t make sense or won’t have a significant impact on their lives. And if they see you giving the Lord the scraps of your time, your money, and your energy, what are they to conclude? Only that love for the Lord can be compromised without consequence. We cannot pass on what we do not personally possess. A phony faith won’t cut it.5
Principle # 2 ~ Parents Must Seize Every Available Opportunity to Teach Their Children Biblical Truths.
Moses continues, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (Deuteronomy 6:7).
Please observe that nothing is said here about a worship service or a Bible class. Nothing is said about making sure our children are sent to a Christian school or a weeklong Bible camp each summer. All of these can provide an excellent atmosphere wherein biblical truths can be taught to our children. But these training grounds were never intended by God to replace what is to stem from the home; they should only supplement what is presently taught therein.
The Hebrew word translated diligently means “to sharpen.” It simply conveys the concept that the teaching should be consistent and should be manifested in every segment of our lives.
In addition to this consistent teaching, the teaching should be done creatively. Wise is the parent who can quickly dispense a biblical truth while riding in the car with his children or walking through the park with his son or daughter. For example, when your little daughter picks you a flower, upon thanking her for it, you could instruct her regarding how life is described like a flower (Job 14:2; Psalms 103:15). When your son asks for a boost up to the water fountain, while in your arms and enjoying his refreshing drink, you could whisper into his ear how that Jesus is called the Water of Life (John 4:14). Sound silly? Not at all! This is exactly the truth Moses was impressing upon those parents centuries ago. Their children and grandchildren would never forget these timely truths, and neither will yours and mine.
Principle # 3 ~ Truth Is Useless if It Lacks Courageous Convictions
Moses adds, “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house, and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:8-9). In essence, God was saying, “Let My Word be your public declaration to the world that you belong to Jehovah!”
It is not enough for one to know the Truth; he must live the Truth with courageous convictions. I agree with one writer who said, “My fear is that we may be graduating individuals having too many beliefs but not enough convictions.”6 Our kids may learn the books of the Bible, but, if the message of the Bible never reaches their hearts, then “What does it profit, my brethren” (James 2:14)? Hell will be populated with legions that had a head full of facts. If our children attend all the services of the Church from cradle roll through their high-school years and then sleep in on Sunday morning when they are miles away from home attending college, they failed to be a doer of the word; they were hearers only (James 1:22). They had a head religion that never reached their hearts. Perhaps we should ask--did their parents have a head religion that never reached their hearts?
Conclusion
God’s divine blueprint for the home embraces every generation. Any departure from His pattern is sure to bring disastrous consequences. In order for the next generation to “set their hope in God” (Psalms 78:7), the present generation of parents must get out of step with the culture and back in step with their Creator. Parents, the next generation desperately needs you!
Endnotes
1. Charles R. Swindoll, Parenting: From Surviving to Thriving, (Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group, 2006), p. 249.
2. Ibid, p. 250.
3. Ibid.
4. Ibid.
5. Ibid, pp. 253-254.
6. Ibid, p. 259.
Posted on 07/02/2009 11:23 AM by Jason R. Roberts
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