“Nature abhors a vacuum.” This phrase expresses the idea that empty spaces are unnatural as they go against the laws of physics. If there is a vacuum, nature will fill it with something very quickly. This rule can be applied to children and teens in respect to the choices they make regarding right and wrong.
Without a moral compass by which to guide their lives, teenagers will fill their concepts of honesty, dignity, and sobriety with just about anything thereby leading them in tumultuous directions.
I’m reminded of the movie “Big Daddy” starring Adam Sandler—a movie that one would not recommend for Christians. Sandler’s character decides to raise his adopted child differently than he was raised. The boy is encouraged to do what he wants and hilarity ensues as he wears a colander on his head to school and changes his name to Frankenstein. Sandler’s character believed that he was encouraging a good relationship as he acted more like a friend than a father.
Children, and especially teens, don’t need friendships from their parental figures. They need guides who will help them see what is right and wrong in this world. Teenagers will challenge the rules you set as they work to understand them, but when you hold fast to what you believe, they will respect you and see the value in what you say as lessons are learned.
A solid definition of morality is lacking in many families. When parents are more concerned about the quality of the marijuana than abiding by the law, there’s something wrong. As laws are deliberately broken, teens and children are taught to disrespect authority-- including teachers, court systems, and even the very parents that taught them the faltering philosophy of “live by your own rules.” Also, when the moral compass of the home is guided by the “feels good, do it” or “I’m not hurting anyone” principles, children will be left in the cold because these ideas have no real hold on a constructive way of life. They are nothing more than shadows of right and wrong that change with the blowing of the wind.
Furthermore, there are lots of things that feel good and there’s always a victim, even if not immediately evident, when poor decisions are made. For instance, I’ve never, in any form, been involved with drunk driving, but my car insurance premiums suffer because of the risk drunk drivers pose. Also, lots of women wonder who the fathers of their babies are, because, at some point, they did what felt good. How tragic.
Pleasure and pain are relative concepts that can be used to warp the minds of impressionable teens. All teens search for guidance. Hopefully, they can find it in their parents and other responsible adults. If not, they will turn to the media world, where the goal is making money at all costs. Sex, drugs, and immorality sell, and your middle schooler may be buying.
