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When A Father�s Heart Has Turned To God
Last month’s article was about the disciplining of our children’s hearts. Only when we do this will our children become true warriors for God. But how do fathers reach the hearts of their wives and children? We must have our hearts turned toward God and “Keep (our) heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). We must understand that it is through Christ that our hearts are turned toward our families (Malachi 4:4-6, Luke 1:16-17), and we must have a genuine, heart-relationship with God. Only then can we understand and care for the hearts of our families.
It is interesting to note in Malachi 4:4-6 that fathers turning their hearts to their children (and home) was going to be the sign of the times with respect to the Son of God coming down from Heaven. In addition, it is the dad’s heart that was turned first. So what does it mean for us as men to turn our hearts to family and children? It is very similar to a person’s repentance in Acts 2:38. It means to take a step back, re-examine our lives, determine if we are living according to God’s will or our own, and changing our minds for the better.
How many of us fathers do not have our hearts turned toward God, home, and family? I have been told that an American father spends an average of six minutes per day with his children, 35 seconds of which is undivided attention. While more time spent with family does not equal a stronger heart bond, only with time will a heart bond be formed. We see God outlining this family plan in Deuteronomy 6.
Our wives and children must know that they are special to us and that they are made in God’s image. We fathers must admit that those whom God has entrusted to us get some of their sense of worth based on how we interact with them. We must dedicate ourselves to this to counter the many in society who see wives and children as a burden. I don’t care for jokes made about large families—you know, with more than three kids, as if such could ONLY be accidental and not joyfully deliberate. The American culture with its urbanization, industrialization, transportation, consumerism, and feminism (along with other issues) has contributed to fathers losing the hearts of their children and wives by turning fathers away both directly and indirectly. These things can cause families to think and act like disconnected individuals. They are separate people with separate goals living in the same house, instead of one united family striving together toward Heaven.
Men sadly cultivate this weakness when their time is spent in pursuit of their own goals and dreams, when their families are pushed to the side, or when they are engaged in their own forms of entertainment and enjoyment to the neglect of their families. It is also cultivated when we lose our temper, become enraged, or try to control through intimidation (Colossians 3:21, James 1:19-20). So many times it appears that our own pride and selfishness causes this splintering of families.
Have we lost the hearts of our wives and children and have yet to realize it? How can we know? The answer is simple: Where do they turn when they hunger for attention, or seek guidance and counsel? Do they come to you Dad? Do they speak unkindly of you in public to their friends or relatives or with respect? Do they come to you seeking God’s answers because they see Him living in you? Do they ask you to pray to the Father in Heaven for them?
Our role as fathers is in no way to replace God as He is their Heavenly Father, but it is our responsibility to exemplify God and live our lives according to the standard and pattern set out in Scripture. If we are unsure how to do this, we simply need to reread the descriptions of the crucifixion and study Ephesians 5:23-33 where the relationship between Christ and the church is related to a man and wife. Then we must apply those principles in our families.
I want to say one last thing: The very writing of this article has helped to remind me of what I want for my family. It helped me to refocus and redirect my life towards God and home. I hope it will do the same for you.
